Stinkfist

Something has to change.
Un-deniable dilemma.
Boredom's not a burden
Anyone should bear.

Constant over stimu-lation numbs me
but I would not want you
any other way.

It's not enough.
I need more.
Nothing seems to satisfy.
I don't want it.
I just need it.
To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

Finger deep within the borderline.
Show me that you love me and that we belong together.
Relax, turn around and take my hand.

I can help you change
Tired moments into pleasure.
Say the word and we'll be
Well upon our way.

Blend and balance
Pain and comfort
Deep within you
Till you will not want me any other way.

It's not enough.
I need more.
Nothing seems to satisfy.
I don't want it.
I just need it.
To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

Knuckle deep inside the borderline.
This may hurt a little but it's something you'll get used to.
Relax. Slip away.

Something kinda sad about
the way that things have come to be.
Desensitized to everything.
What became of subtlety?

How can this mean anything to me
If I really don't feel anything at all?

I'll keep digging till
I feel something.

Elbow deep inside the borderline.
Show me that you love me and that we belong together.
Shoulder deep within the borderline.
Relax. Turn around and take my hand.

There is just something about this song... I can see many ways to interpret it but, the numbness. The numbness is what sticks out to me. The over stimulation.
I am so used to hurt and pain. I have felt it and lived it my whole life. And it has a numb effect on me. Death and suicide are my obsessions, cause someday they will save me from the hurt and pain.
Everyone looks down on me for this, for my depression. But I don't know another way. And if I found another way, would it change anything? Would it change me and who I am? Why can't I be loved for being this way.
Sometimes I think I do need to change. I'm so down and out sometimes that it seems pointless to try, but what if I did.
I found a girl, my Story, that makes me so happy. But even with her suicide is on my mind. What would it take to change me? To make me a happy person, proud to be alive?
....
....
....
Really? I just don't know. I think I like being me. I live being numb and plotting my demise.

Jane