Thursday, October 8, 2009

Bringing Zero back

We have been talking alot lately about the puppy play and bringing zero back. I have been waiting for him to start but nothing happens, or to much is happening. There is always somebody over here that won't leave. And right now I have the worst headache of my life, even my narcotics didn't touch the pain.
I have worked really hard to not get excited cause it will eventually just end up like it always does. But lately...lol
I don't even know how to explain this. I find myself slipping into puppy head space all the time now. We were having sex and Seth is going on about my girlfriend and how I like her to do this and that, and all I could think of was: If I was a puppy she would pet me and pet my pussy..lol And it's all not even sexual. I mean it is, but it's getting to be a puppy that turns me on, not the sexual stuff while being a puppy, that just takes me right out of the headspace. I hate it.
Anyways, even at night, I have caught myself whining in my sleep and dreaming about laying on the floor while watching a movie.
I'm starting to slip into it all on my own, and I don't know if that is a good thing or bad.... And I catch myself dreading and yearning for the time to come that we can start. I hate being a woman, it's confusing.
Story is supposed to come over tomorrow night but I don't know if she is. For a couple reasons. Seth is back on with saying he feels left out when I want to spend time with her and I tried to explain that when she is here I want to spend time her cause I don't get to other times. I can't seem to make him understand that how I mean it. I love him and I am with him all the time, but when she comes down I would like to be able to spend time with her without him stirring up arguments.
So that's the stuff for today. I have class in a couple hours, I am hoping my migraine will pass soon otherwise class is going to be hard. I slept through math and my mid term for theater yesterday. It sucks.